Learning together

This weekend I have been marking your excellent writing in the style of Michael Morpurgo! I am so impressed – great work everyone! I will be publishing a selection of the writing here on the blog and I wanted to start by sharing Sarah’s fantastic piece of writing! I really like Sarah’s word choices and her excellent use of alliteration. Excellent!

As I walked through the lush green forest, I looked up at the sky….. “Oh no,” I moaned “There’s a storm coming!”

It was true it was very much true, black clouds were rolling towards me through the treetops. I ran through the trees to try to find shelter. After 5 minutes the first drop of rain fell, then more came until the whole ground was covered in puddles and the ‘leaf cones’ as I call them were over filling. Now the rain sounded like a motorway!

There was thunder crashing down from the almost jet black clouds and making monkeys howl from the rain smothered treetops. Orchids swayed and their pretty pink petals were falling off. Suddenly I came to an opening it had lots of mud holes in (I’m not surprised) and there were grey shapes in them rolling about it looks like…hippos…no it mustn’t be… yes they were hippos. HIPPOS? Ok…ok I’ve heard there are lots of amazing animals but HIPPOS. Sigh… Anyway in the middle of the opening was a tiger it was very funny because I thought that a tiger would be taking shelter in this storm but what bewildered me more was that a white flash banged beside him. He didn’t even flinch. He just looked at it as if to say “Is THAT the best you can do?”

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Comments on: "Amazing writing from Sarah!" (17)

  1. Woooohooooo
    🙂

    From Sarah 🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. This is a truly impressive piece of work. Will be sharing it with my year 5’s tomorrow.

  3. Im Very happy 🙂

    From Sarah

  4. Hello Sarah,

    This is an excellent piece of writing. You draw the reader into the storyline with your detailed description of what is happening then add more creative touches. I wonder what if the tiger had spied you? Your left the reader wondering what happens next.

    Ross Mannell (teacher)
    NSW, Australia

  5. that was an fantastic piece of writing

    lydia

  6. 🙂 thank you

    From Sarah

  7. Nana and Grandad said:

    Great work, Sarah! Quite Fantastic.

  8. I’m Sarah’s Mum, great writing Sarah I’m very proud 😀 xxx

  9. Helen Greeney said:

    What a fantastic piece of writing, Sarah, I really felt as if I was there! Well done.

  10. to sarah well done I love it!

    Eve 🙂

  11. 😉
    Sarah

  12. This a brilliant story.:):):):):)

  13. COOL!that is cool i love it 🙂

    chengcheng:)

  14. Wow Sarah! that was fantastic. Give me a copy

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